Mastering the Irish Goodbye & the French Exit

Have you ever heard of the Irish Goodbye? The French Exit? What about ghosting? Three different names – same  party exit that I absolutely swear by. I wasn’t aware my party trick had a name until my friend Chris called me out after a string of disappearances. But it does have a name, ghosting. Ghosting refers to leaving a social gathering without letting anyone know, including the host . One moment you’re at the bar, or the house party, or the wedding reception and the next moment…you’re not. POOF – GONE. Like you are Casper in the flesh – a ghost.

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This face says…time to ghost! (happy bachelorette party, Kelly!)

If you are truly masterful in your approach people, including your husband in some cases if the house party is your own, won’t notice you are gone for at least 30 minutes. Eventually, people may start to wonder “where did Meg go?” But by the time they say anything out loud an hour will probably have passed and people will just say “oh, I haven’t seen her since she was standing alone by the queso dip inhaling chips.” (or something like that – you get the idea.) But—and this is key—they probably won’t even notice that you’ve left.

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A couple pitfalls to avoid:

  • It’s your turn at the beerpong table and people are waiting to continue the game. The “I’ve got to run to the bathroom” trick irritates people. They want to play and you are being a bottleneck.
  • Really, really small parties. As Seth Stevenson from Slate puts it: “Granted, it might be aggressive to ghost a gathering of fewer than 10. And ghosting a group of two or three is not so much ghosting as ditching. But if the party includes more than 15 or 20 attendees, there’s a decent chance none will notice that you’re gone, at least not right away. (It may be too late for them to cancel that pickleback shot they ordered for you, but, hey, that’s on them.)” Amen, Seth.
  • Your wedding. Thankfully, I didn’t do this. However, I have been at a wedding where the bride and groom just…left. It was more confusing than anything else. The guests ended up staying WAY too long shuffling around and finishing the reject beverages from the open bar (no one needs more than one Baileys in an evening – even if that is the only thing left.) I don’t recommend this approach.

Next time if I see you at a party don’t be alarmed if all of the sudden I’m not there. Give it a try sometime. Happy ghosting.

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Getting ready for my Irish Goodbye as Stripes dances the night away

 

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